||[Mar. 28th, 2005|01:51 pm]
|||||Beatles-All you need is love||]|
Happy Easter. I have re-wrote this entry prob. about 5 times. I can seem to find satisfaction with anything anymore. Even the slightest, stupidest things. Not to be complaining but yeah. I was glad to have en extra day off this weekend, it was nice. However, I could always use and extra day. I feel like I have a hair ball in my throat. Today I gave my cat a bath in the sink. It was pretty humorous, she was making the weirdest noises I think i have ever heaard. Actually, I felt kind of bad doing it. Oh well she needed it cause she smells bad-hense the name Stinky. Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to get out the this slump that I am in. I need to find something to give me motivation. I know I have said this a million times but, even though this school year has gone to shit, I am so so so happy knowing who I am. Yeah, I know I sound like an inspriation speaker, but I finally feel like I belong somewhere. Most of the time I still feel like a misfit in school but no atleast I know that there is one place that suits me. School was always hard for me, not so much academically like it is now, but just fitting in. Kids are so harsh in school and I don't think that you realize that until you mature. I have come to see that even though all these kids are in high school, they are far from being an adult. Sometimes I even question if I am ready to grow up. I am seriously starting to think that I'm not. Yes, there are so many great things that come with growing up. But if you look beyond the childish aspects like having no curfew, being where ever you want at any time you want etc. I see my life as being really depressin to be quite honest. I hope that I am not doomed to be depressed for life, but who know's. I think that even though I am starting to become a woman, there are alot of other issues I need to take care of. I have alot of emotional issues right now and I know why, but I am still flabbergasted that it is still happening to me. People are so insenstive to other's until they have been in their postion. Even myself, I never completely understood the whole concept of "depression" until know. Depression is something that each person will experience at one point in their life and alot of people see it as embarassing when it really shouldn't be. Emotion is a beautiful thing and it's sad that the world now is being brought up in a culture that is being told that crying is wrong. Crying sometimes to me, is just such a relief to me. Sometimes I even cry for no reason. And even though I know I do have some emotional problems, I think that the world is being told that if you have too much emotion, you have something wrong with you. So them people get wrapped up in depression pills etc. Which I know, sometimes is needed, but I think that there are too many people who are being told that there is things wrong with them, when really there is nothing at all. So yeah but I need to go right now but I'll finish this entry later- Toodles!